DaRn02 Blog

Link to the Future: Zelda Timeline Fan Film

2011-12-21T09:03:00.000-08:00

Is Project Ogre going to be Metal Gear Skyrim?

2011-12-21T07:00:00.001-08:00

Not with dragons, obviously. That’d be stupid. In an interview with CNN, however, Kojima has talked about his upcoming Project Ogre saying “The kind of game I’m making is some game that has a very wide entrance, a very open entrance.” He also mentioned that “Rather than making something very cinematic, [I plan to] make something very free”.

CNN then go on to say “In the interview, he described it as being set in a very open world where players can wander around and explore freely. Players should still be able to find new sights and worthwhile adventures after having played the game for as many as 100 hours, he said.” It sound a lot like a massive free roaming adventure then, a huge departure for the normally tightly controlled narratives Kojima’s famous for.

Kojima’s also tweeted a new screen of his new FOX engine in action (above). According to Andriasang’s translation it shows a new custom avatar system that created the character from photos of a Kojima Productions programmer called Lionel. The process took an hour.

Kojima’s also tweeted two other images of the new engine action showing a very Afghanistan-like war scene as well as “One of the key features about ‘FOX Engine’, here’s the transparent technique. See-thru underwear.” Of course.

UNCHARTED: Golden Abyss -- Intu-Aim Controls

2011-12-15T17:03:00.000-08:00

PlayStation Vita - UNCHARTED Golden Abyss -- Earlier this week we held a massive PlayStation Vita event in San Francisco, rife with new games, first hands-on time, and newly-debuted features. The Sony Bend Studios team working on Uncharted: Golden Abyss rolled into town touting something in that last category -- the Vita-specific Intu-Aim feature. This "aiming modifier" allows gamers to combine the six-axis gyro features of the Vita to fine tune the shots you line up with the right analog stick for greater precision.In this exclusive new video, producer Darren Yager shows Drake's Intu-Aim aided gunning efficiency in action.

via Playstation Blog [US]

UNCHARTED 3: Drake’s Deception Trailer And PSN Treasures Revealed

2010-12-12T14:44:00.001-08:00

Following Arne Meyer’s announcement and short teaser video earlier this week, I’m very excited to unveil the official trailer for UNCHARTED 3: Drake’s Deception.

This HD trailer is now available on PlayStation Store for you to download, so don’t waste any time – head to PSN now! But that’s not it… we also have a lot more UNCHARTED 3 content for you to download from the Store including a Drake Avatar, a Dynamic Theme and a Wallpaper.

UNCHARTED 3: Drake’s Deception Trailer

On top of this, if you use the following PSN voucher code you will be able to download a ‘hidden’ Avatar and Static Theme. Here’s the voucher code for you to redeem both items (please note, this voucher will only work if you are a SCEE PSN user):

[F57M-BNN2-G33H]

There is also an activity taking place in PlayStation Home: Head to the Theatre, watch the trailer in its entirety and you’ll be rewarded with an UNCHARTED 3 Home t-shirt!

That’s not all guys. To celebrate the UNCHARTED 3 announcement we have a limited price promotion on the expansion packs for UNCHARTED 2: Among Thieves. If you haven’t played UNCHARTED 2 online then you’re missing out on a lot of fun so this is your chance to get involved:

Drake’s Fortune Multiplayer Pack: Now only €2.99
Siege Expansion Pack: Now only €2.99
PlayStation Heroes Skin Pack: Now only €2.49
Sidekicks Skins Pack: Now only €1.49

Finally, alongside this promotion, now on PSN is the ‘Golden Weapons’ DLC item which was previously only available through the UNCHARTED 2: Among Thieves Collector’s Edition in Europe. You can purchase it for €0.99 and showcase it when playing online.

That’s it for now, folks! hope you like the trailer and all the PlayStation Store, Home and UNCHARTED 2 items on offer. You know what you need to do now, just head to PSN; it’s been completely taken over by UNCHARTED 3.

Have a great holiday season all!

Via Playstation Blog [EU]

The Kojima Complex

2010-07-17T11:24:00.001-07:00

The mastermind game designer that has brought the gaming community such innovative and inspiring games has a bit of a puzzling issue. Hideo Kojima, the guy behind the Metal Gear Solid series, seems to want to quit MGS all of the time. Wait what was that again? Yeah, that’s right he wanted to stop working on Metal Gear Solid after every single MGS game starting with Metal Gear Solid 2. Let’s dig into the past and reflect on this puzzling complex.

The first Metal Gear Solid had playstation fans jumping right back into the Metal Gear Solid franchise. It was a nice reboot from the Nintendo generation. Gamers simply wanted more, but there was a bit of a wait in store.

The first MGS came out in 1998 and the second MGS was released in 2001. Some gamers were actually treated to an awesome playstation 2 demo that took place on the tanker level. Everyone was hyped about this game. The new title had great visuals, a seemingly promising story, and of course the return of Solid Snake. However, once everyone got their hands on the MGS 2 they learned that they would not be Snake for the whole game. It was quite a big shock considering that everyone was familiar with Snake.

Instead, MGS fans were treated to another main character called Raiden. He had long anime like hair and one scene had him doing naked cartwheels. This decision didn’t piss off everyone some anime fans liked the switch, but the damage was done. MGS fans had a huge WTF sign over their head while completing the game.

Overall, MGS 2 tuned out to be a great game, but its confusing storyline and surprising character switch conflicted with quite a few fans. To make things worse Kojima claimed that MGS 2 would most likely be the last Metal Gear Solid game. However, the mixed reception and fan demand set the stage for the next Metal Gear Solid game (Let’s also not forget about the MGS 1 remake: Metal Gear Solid Twin Snakes).

Metal Gear Solid 3 was released in 2004, which was three years after MGS 2. Kojmia felt that MGS 3, since it went back to the past, would explain enough of the story for him to back out of the franchise. Of course that didn’t last too long and soon enough gamers heard about the upcoming playstation 3 and Metal Gear Solid 4 in 2006.

Let’s take a look at what Kojima stated in an interview with videogamesblogger.com, which took place back in 2008:

Hideo Kojima answers: I was supposed to end this in MGS2, you know, originally (laughs). And then I created MGS3, and I said, ‘Okay, this is the final one. It’s over.’ But people said, ‘No… there’s still not enough answers (in that game)!’ As a game design, the story was almost complete in MGS1, 2 and 3, or so I initially thought. But of course, there were some questions that weren’t answered, especially with some things after MGS2. I didn’t decide that this was the timing – there were a lot of voices saying, ‘We want the answer to all of the questions!’ That’s why as a game, and as a saga, MGS4 is the complete wrap up.

PR-wise, I really don’t want to say that [Metal Gear Solid 4 is] the final game or this is the wrap up, but if I don’t say it, people will make me create MGS again! (laughs) So I have to say, ‘Die, Snake,’ and really end it so I can move on to something else! (laughs) Actually, it’s a game, so even if Snake dies, the game can live on. We have to kill him at a certain point.

So, MGS 4 was supposed to be the end for Kojima and MGS, he completed the storyline and answered many questions that puzzled fans of the series. At least that’s what some of us thought. Soon after he mentioned a psp title called Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker. Oddly, enough gamers were treated to yet another MGS game despite hints from Kojima that MGS 4 would be the last MGS game.

Did this stop Kojima from backing out on the franchise? Metal Gear Solid still has a huge following and the Solid Snake universe doesn’t seem to be losing steam. The upcoming game, Metal Gear Solid: Rising, which oddly enough follows a revamped Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 4, seems to let Kojima take a little bit of a back seat since he is only producing the game. Perhaps he is actually starting to back out of the franchise?

Here is what Kojima stated after announcing a new secret title:

The next project will challenge a certain type of taboo. If I mess up, I’ll probably have to leave the industry. However, I don’t want to pass by avoiding that. I turn 47 this year. It’s been 24 years since I started making games. Today, I got an ally who would happily support me in that risk. Although it’s just one person. For a start, it’s good.

Kojima isn’t just talking about leaving the Metal Gear Solid franchise like before. He is talking about leaving the entire gaming industry if his next game fails. Hideo Kojima is viewed as one of the most inspiring and talented game designers of the generation, but he seems to always have this sense of failure nipping at his shoulder. He has a complex and he cannot seem to overcome his fears. It seems like he wants to quit while he is ahead. He wants to end a franchise and possibly exit the industry on a good note, but thankfully in the end he doesn’t let his feelings stop him from making a new title and listens to his fans.

Via GamesRadar

I Survived 8001050F…

2010-03-02T14:49:00.001-08:00

Puddle thinking

2010-02-19T12:25:00.001-08:00

Imagine a puddle waking up one morning and thinking, “This is an interesting world I find myself in, an interesting hole I find myself in, fits me rather neatly, doesn’t it? In fact it fits me staggeringly well, must have been made to have me in it!”
This is such a powerful idea that as the sun rises in the sky and the air heats up and as, gradually, the puddle gets smaller and smaller, it’s still frantically hanging on to the notion that everything’s going to be alright, because this world was meant to have him in it, was built to have him in it; so the moment he disappears catches him rather by surprise. I think this may be something we need to be on the watch out for.

(Douglas Adams)

Heavy Rain’s ‘Origami Killer’ Pajarita Calling Card

2010-01-16T11:38:00.001-08:00

Before you start, you'll want to find yourself a piece of square paper. If it's too big, your final product will be too unwieldy; if it's too small, you'll have trouble bending corners. Choose your square size wisely.

Step 1.

Fold the square over diagonally as shown to make a nice, visible crease.

Step 2.

Fold the square the other way, as shown, making a second visible crease.

Step 3.

Turn the square 45 degrees as shown, and fold three points towards the centre.

Step 4.

Fold the upper point backwards.

Step 5.

Fold the four remaining points towards the centre.

Step 6.

Now turn the paper over, and fold the lower point towards the top. It should look like a little triangle.

Step 7.

Now reach up, and pull the inner points down.

Step 8.

Step 8 is pretty much making sure that what you have looks like this. Well does it? Good, move on to step 9.

Step 9.

Folder the upper point down.

Step 10.

Step 10, much like Step 8, is just to assure what you have looks like this. Does it? You're doing well, and I'm very proud of you. Almost there, killer.

Step 11.

Fold the right half of the paper over to the left, and while doing so, pull out the upper square to create a "nose."

Step 12.

See? A nose.

Step 13.

Now, pull the "tail" out, as shown.

You're done!

PSP Go: New Firmware Specifications

2009-08-13T13:03:00.001-07:00

A lot of PSP owners love knowing every single thing about their handhelds, and the upcoming PSP Go is another new toy to disassemble and analyze. We're still roughly a couple of months away from launch, though, so all you tech savvy folks out there might want to look through these specs compiled by Digital Foundry.

First of all, the PSP Go will of course launch with a brand new firmware full of new options and tweakables. The pre-release sample Digital Foundry played around with came with OFW 5.70, although that may change when the Go hits retail. A lot of the differences between the Go's firmware 5.70 and the currently available 5.51 deal with the XMB, specifically the Settings area. Here's what they found:

Network Update is now listed as System Update, but, curiously, has the same options.
Video Settings obviously doesn't have the first four UMD-related toggles.
System Settings now has a "Your Birth Date" option (second from top), and a "Display Panel Close Option" toggle, which allows you to set it to either "Standard" (goes to a clock graphic) or "Enter Sleep Mode". Also "Battery Information" seems to be gone, as do UMD-related options, but there's a "Format System Storage" option in addition to the usual Memory Stick format option.
Power Save Settings loses the "Backlight Auto-Adjust" option for some reason.
There's a new "Bluetooth Device Settings" entry, which consists of a toggle for switching Bluetooth on and off and a "Manage Bluetooth Devices" entry.

Another change is the introduction of a new "System Storage" folder similar to the Memory Stick one. This one is for the PSP Go's internal flash storage. The available space for users is 14.74GB formatted in FAT32.
Hardware-wise, Sony has introduced a few more proprietary doodads for the PSP Go. The USB cable is reportedly not conventional. The end that attaches to PC is of course the same as the ones we currently have, but the end that connects to the PSP Go itself is described as wider and thinner. The Audio-Video port has also been changed, so your old component cables likely won't work.

Via PSPUpdates @ QJ.Net

Helghast find love in LoveZone

2009-06-16T15:18:00.001-07:00

Killzone isn't just about death and destruction. No, the Helghan world is just like our own, with stories of peril, triumph ... and love. Black20, in collaboration with IGN, have created a trailer for a fictional romance set in the Killzone universe. "Lovezone" tells the touching story of how two Helghast can meet on the battlefield, and the struggles they must overcome to realize their love.

VOTE FOR "NEW DIVIDE" ON VH1!

2009-06-12T13:02:00.000-07:00

Linkin Park – “New Divide”

Linkin Park's new video for "New Divide" will be up for voting in VH1's Top 20 Countdown beginning Saturday, June 13. Let's make it #1! Starting tomorrow, have everyone you know for for "New Divide" HERE.

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

2009-06-05T10:28:00.001-07:00

We found out recently that if you try to leave a little kid in a graveyard late at night, he'll freak out. Even if you offer to leave him a gun to protect himself. Why? It's because on some instinctual level, all humans know it's just a matter of time until the zombies show up.

Our culture is full of tales of the undead walking the Earth, from our religions (Jesus) to our comic books. But, some sort of zombie apocalypse isn't actually possible, right?

Right?

Actually yes, it’s quite possible. Here's five ways it could happen, according to science.

#5. Brain Parasites

As seen in ...Resident Evil 4

What are they?

Parasites that turn victims into mindless, zombie-like slaves are fairly common in nature. There's one called toxoplasmosa gondii that seems to devote its entire existence to being terrifying.

This bug infects rats, but can only breed inside the intestines of a cat. The parasite knows it needs to get the rat inside the cat (yes, we realize this sounds like the beginning of the most fucked-up Dr. Seuss poem ever) so the parasite takes over the rat's freaking brain, and intentionally makes it scurry toward where the cats hang out. The rat is being programmed to get itself eaten, and it doesn't even know.

Of course, those are just rats, right?

How it can result in zombies:

Hey, did we mention that half the human population on Earth is infected with toxoplasmosa, and don't know it? Hey, maybe you're one of them. Flip a coin.

Oh, also, they've done studies and shown that the infected see a change in their personality and have a higher chance of going batshit insane.

Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:

Humans and rats aren't all that different; that's why they use them to test our drugs. All it takes is a more evolved version of toxoplasmosa, one that could to do us what it does to the rats. So, imagine if half the world suddenly had no instinct for self-preservation or rational thought. Even less than they do now, we mean.

If you're comforting yourself with the thought that it may take forever for such a parasite to evolve, you're forgetting about all the biological weapons programs around the world, intentionally weaponizing such bugs. You've got to wonder if the lab workers don't carry out their work under the unwitting command of the toxoplasmosa gondii already in their brains. If you don't want to sleep at night, that is.

You may be protesting that technically these people have never been dead and thus don't fit the dictionary definition of "zombies," but we can assure you that the distinction won't matter a whole lot once these groaning hordes are clawing their way through your windows.

#4. Neurotoxins

As seen in ... The Serpent and the Rainbow, Resident Evil 5

What are they?

There are certain kinds of poisons that slow your bodily functions to the point that you'll be considered dead, even to a doctor (okay, maybe not to a good doctor). The poison from fugu (Japanese blowfish) can do this.

The victims can then be brought back under the effects of a drug like datura stramonium (or other chemicals called alkaloids) that leave them in a trance-like state with no memory, but still able to perform simple tasks like eating, sleeping, moaning and shambling around with their arms outstretched.

How it can result in zombies:

"Can?" How about "does."

This stuff has happened in Haiti; that's where the word "zombie" comes from. There are books about it, the most famous ones by Dr. Wade Davis (Passage of Darkness and The Serpent and the Rainbow). Yes, the movie The Serpent and the Rainbow was based on this guy's actual science stuff. How much of it was fact? Well, there was that one scene where they strapped the guy naked to a chair and drove a huge spike through his balls. We're hoping that part wasn't true.

What is definitely true is the story of Clairvius Narcisse. He was a Haitian guy who was declared dead by two doctors and buried in 1962. They found him wandering around the village 18 years later. It turned out the local voodoo priests had been using naturally occurring chemicals to basically zombify people and putting them to work on the sugar plantations (no, really).

So, the next time you're pouring a little packet of sugar into your coffee, remember that it may have been handled by a zombie at some point.

Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:

On the one hand, it's already fucking happened! So that earns it some street cred right off the bat. But, even if some evil genius intentionally distributed alkaloid toxins to a population to turn them into a shambling, mindless horde, there is no way to make these zombies aggressive or cannibalistic.

Yet…

#3. The Real Rage Virus

As seen in ... 28 Days Later

What is it?

In the movie, it was a virus that turned human beings into mindless killing machines. In real life, we have a series of brain disorders that do the same thing. They were never contagious, of course. Then, Mad Cow Disease came along. It attacks the cow's spinal cord and brain, turning it into a stumbling, mindless attack cow.

And, when humans eat the meat ...

How it can result in zombies:

When Mad Cow gets in humans, they call it Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Check out the symptoms:

• Changes in gait (walking)

• Hallucinations

• Lack of coordination (for example, stumbling and falling)

• Muscle twitching

• Myoclonic jerks or seizures

• Rapidly developing delirium or dementia

Sure, the disease is rare (though maybe not as rare as we think) and the afflicted aren't known to chase after people in murderous mobs. Yet.

But, it proves widespread brain infections of the Rage variety are just a matter of waiting for the right disease to come along.

Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:

If the whole sudden, mindless violence idea seems far-fetched, remember that you are just one brain chemical (serotonin) away from turning into a mindless killing machine (they've tested it by putting rats in Death match-style cages and watching them turn on each other). All it would take is a disease that destroys the brain's ability to absorb that one chemical and suddenly it's a real-world 28 Days Later.

So, imagine such an evolved disease, which we'll call Super Mad Cow (or, Madder Cow) getting a foothold through the food supply. Say this disease spreads through blood-on-blood contact, or saliva-on-blood contact. Now you have a Rage-type virus that can be transmitted with a bite.

Just like the movie. With one bite, you're suddenly the worst kind of zombie:

A fast zombie.

#2. Neurogenesis

As seen in ... Laboratories around the world.

What is it?

You know all that controversy out there about stem cell research? Well, the whole thing with stem cells is that they can basically be used to re-generate dead cells. Particularly of interest to zombologists like ourselves is neurogenesis, the method by which they can re-grow dead brain tissue.

You can see where this is going.

How it can result in zombies:

You wanted the undead to make an appearance in this article? Well, here you go, you creepy bastards.

Science can pretty much save you from anything but brain death; they can swap out organs but when the brain turns to mush, you're gone. Right?

Well, not for long. They're already able to re-grow the brains of comatose head trauma patients until they wake up and walk around again.

Couple that with the new ability to keep a dead body in a state of suspended animation so that it can be brought back to life later, and soon we'll be able to bring back the dead, as long as we get to them quickly enough.

That sounds great, right? Well, this lab dedicated to "reanimation research" (yes, that's what they call it) explains how the process of "reanimating" a person creates a problem. It causes the brain to die off from the outside in. The outside being the cortex, the nice part of you that makes humans human. That just leaves the part that controls basic motor function and primitive instincts behind.

You don't need the cortex to survive; all you need is the stem and you'll still be able to mindlessly walk and eat and enjoy Grey's Anatomy. This is how chickens can keep walking around after they've been beheaded (including one case where the chicken lived for 18 months without a head).

So, you take a brain dead patient, use these techniques to re-grow the brain stem, and you now have a mindless body shambling around, no thoughts and no personality, nothing but a cloud of base instincts and impulses.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we like to call a real, live, undead fucking zombie. So there.

Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:

Think about it. Under every legal system in the world, all rights and responsibilities are terminated at death. All it takes is someone with resources and a need for a mindless workforce of totally obedient slave labor.

How long until somebody tries this? We're betting somebody in the world, maybe North Korea, will have a working zombie by Christmas.

#1. Nanobots

As seen in... Michael Crichton's novel Prey, The PS2 game Nano Breaker

What are they?

Nanobots are a technology that science apparently engineered to make you terrified of the future. We're talking about microscopic, self-replicating robots that can invisibly build--or destroy--anything. Vast sums of money are being poured into nanotechnology. Sure, at some level scientists know nanobots will destroy mankind. They just can't resist seeing how it happens.

How it can result in zombies:

Scientists have already created a nano-cyborg, by fusing a tiny silicone chip to a virus. The first thing they found out is these cyborgs can still operate for up to a month after the death of the host. Notice how nano scientists went right for zombification, even at this early stage. They know where the horror is.

According to studies, within a decade they'll have nanobots that can crawl inside your brain and set up neural connections to replace damaged ones. That's right; the nanobots will be able to rewire your thoughts. What could possibly go wrong?

Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse:

Do the math, people.

Some day there will be nanobots in your brain. Those nanobots will be programmed to keep functioning after you die. They can form their own neural pathways, meaning they can use your brain to keep operating your limbs after you've deceased and, presumably, right up until you rot to pieces in mid-stride.

The nanobots will be programmed to self-replicate, and the death of the host will mean the end of the nanobots. To preserve themselves, they'd need to transfer to a new host. Therefore, the last act of the nanobot zombie would be to bite a hole in a healthy victim, letting the nanobots steam in and set up camp in the new host. Once in, they can shut down the part of the brain that resists (the cortex) and leave the brain stem intact. They will have added a new member to the unholy army of the undead.

Now, it should be more than clear by this point that our goal is to be responsible researchers. We don't want to create a panic here. All we're saying is that on an actual day on the actual calendar in the future, runaway microscopic nanobots will end civilization by flooding the planet with the cannibalistic undead.

Science has proven it.

E3 09: Metal Gear Solid You Say.

2009-06-02T14:11:00.001-07:00

After a long day at work i come home to find not one but TWO metal gear games announced, and the whole sh*tty day just drained away.

……

First We Have Metal Gear Solid: Rising.

It has been at least partially revealed exactly what Kojima Productions' NEXT website has been counting down to all this time: an entirely new instalment in the Metal Gear Solid series, titled Metal Gear Solid: Rising.

Metal Gear Solid: Rising's logo interestingly says "lightning bolt action," and not the series' typical "tactical espionage action." What this could mean is anyone's guess, but it almost certainly points to a departure from the series' signature gameplay.

It has been confirmed that the story will not center around traditional Metal Gear series star Solid Snake, but rather Raiden, the main protagonist of Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty. Raiden is shown to be in the cyborg-ninja state he was in prior to the ending of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, although with different armor. -Lets not forget the eye colour too.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

And Then We Have Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker.

The next 'true step' in Meta Gear Solid is on its way to the PSP (and we presume PSP-Go)

Set 10 years after the events of Metal Gear Solid 3, Which would place it during the The Les Enfants Terribles project, so it looks as if 'younger' Snake is back in action and melodrama as only he can in what series creator Hideo Kojima calls an entirely new creation.

SEBASTIAN'S VOODOO

2009-05-24T21:54:00.000-07:00

A voodoo doll must find the courage to save his friends from being pinned to death.

Transcript: Playing Prince Of Persia

2009-05-18T14:58:00.000-07:00

Monsters jump in hell and pull out triangles of fuzz.

Aye, it is just you.

Tree branch.

Bruce’s fault, alter ego of Miguel.

Triangle didn’t work.

I liked Whale Bees.

F*cking douche! Go down a wee bit so you can get to the ring.

SNEEZE!!!!! Stop writing my sneezes!

That’s mad there isn’t it? WOW she died too! F*cking squirrel.

Because your gay, because your Don!

Aw its circle!!

Don’t forget its circle

I pressed circle but it didn’t work.

I wanted to do that!

PPPPPFFFFFFFFRRRTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You’re supposed to help me!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Shake the b*tch off!

She’s not using triangle anymore

Aw f*ck (orb)

Fucking arseholes!

F*cking mazin aren’t a?

Aw circle!!

Circle! Av got it!

Dance, Dance Jonny

2009-05-18T13:39:00.000-07:00

WINE!!!

2009-05-18T13:23:00.000-07:00

Bernard Old wine is good wine.
Manny: Yes. But expensive wine is good wine also.
Bernard Yes. But the older the wine is, the gooder it is.
Manny Ah but by the same token, the more expensive the wine, then the gooder it is also.
Bernard (looking at the wine) Look at the colours.
Manny Yeah.
Bernard All the colours. Well... yellow.
Manny This is like... a... a farmyard... of wine.
Bernard It's like looking into the eye of a duck.
Manny And sucking all the fluid from its beak.

You know you’re living in 2009 when…

2009-05-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your mobile, which you didn’t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t#9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

SNNAAAKE!

2009-05-18T13:20:00.002-07:00

Snake: War has changed.

Snake: Our time has ended.

Snake: Our war is over.

Campbell: Since the Manhattan incident, restrictions on military intervention in foreign countries have eased, fueling demand for mercenaries.

Campbell: Today, the world's wars depend largely on PMCs, private military companies whose business includes supplying these mercenaries.

Campbell: PMCs have become a serious threat to the world.

Snake: The U.S. has exported too much of its military power. Now she's paying the price.

Campbell: In total, they've got enough manpower to rival the U.S. military.

Campbell: Based on our investigation, the five largest PMCs are run by a dummy corporation, which acts as a single mother company.

Snake: And the mother company...?

Campbell: Outer Heaven.

Snake: The one world in which soldiers will always have a place....

You Know You’re Obsessed With Metal Gear If...

2009-05-18T13:20:00.001-07:00

You wear a homemade blue/green bandana.
You start smoking Marlboros.
You only shave twice a week.
Wear an eye patch all day because it makes you look cool
Everyone has loads to say to you

You think any of the following are funny:
-> Uh!? What was that noise?
-> Whose footprints are these?
-> Just a box!
-> Drebin...
-> Snake... Snake... SNAKE!

You know that all the codec call subtitles are located in *:\MGS\RADIO.DAT file on the MGS disc 1
You know that the exact same file is on the MGS disk 2.
You actually sorted through it all and found conversations you hadn’t heard even though you played the game 100 times
You cursed every time you went to shoot you ended up crawling.
You think that shaking the controller during cut scenes in MGS4 to restore Snakes OctoCamo to normal is a stroke of genius.
You look up a schematic for the M9 berretta to see if the slide really does lock... (Yeah I did it, so what? The answer is no, the M9's slide doesn’t lock. Kojima is a lying bastard)
Someone asks you "is that a missile launcher in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" you say "actually it's two missile launchers."
You look like a girl and start punching people in the face......pointing to Raikov
You can even quote parodies of MGS games.
After playing MGS2, you buy a directional microphone to listen in on people’s conversations
Every time you get hurt you say, "The pain...THE PAIN....THE PAAAIIIN!"
You call the number 140.96, but no-one answers...Hello Rose? Rose!!!
You develop a hunger for the "too fresh" outdoor meal.
You start to cry for Sniper Wolf...
A crack in the pavement causes you to get out your cigarettes to check for infra-red sensors
A huge shaman uses an incredible number of metaphors and references on you
A torpedo/helicopter takes you to work
The number 140.15 is burned into your mind...
After getting out the PS2 you start playing MGS2 because the game has been in there for the past ten months.
You screamed why won’t you die at Liquid multiple times.
After months and months of playing the game, you start planning to join the military to become more like Snake.
You cried at the 2006 E3 MGS4 trailer.
After playing MGS3, you complained to Konami because enemies can hear Sonar Radar....
After reading some of the things here, you decide to go and try them out.
After the phone rings and you pick it up if you don't know the person you call him deep throat
After your holiday you tell people how you stopped Dead Cell
After you beat somebody, you put your hand next to your face and your life gauge is gets longer
You’d already bought a GameCube so that you could play The Twin Snakes; you found the FOXHOUND edition silver GameCube and bought that too.
An explosion that blows every external structure off the roof your on does not hurt you at all
As soon as you see someone you wonder what items they will drop
You worried every time you seen the time paradox screen in MGS3.
You think that holding people up with a water gun will make them give up their dog tags
At work, you sneak around the shop...
By the time you bought MGS2 you knew everything about the tanker through playing the demo
By way of introduction, you grab a person's groin to make sure they're male/who they say they are
Dead bodies disappear to give you items you need
Doors are hidden behind bookcases in your house
Elevators open immediately if you press the button twice
Every door in your house has a security level and a list of what the room contains
Everyone you meet is wearing dog tags
You expect to see a "!" or "?" above someone’s head when they are alerted to your presence
Food increases your stamina but water is not an essential part of your lifestyle or diet.
You have the alert noise as you message tone, but you still jump and try and hide every time you hear it.
For birthdays, you send MG postcards complete with quotes of that character on the back
All you can say when talking to a girl is "that’s so cute I can’t bare it", or "I want you..."
One of your friends starts acting strangely; you knock them out and look for Psycho Mantis
People are firing guns, blasting things and using giant robots you think it’s all normal
Someone spots you, you go into various modes. You can get back to normal living after Caution mode is over
You paint a bird on your forehead
You think that every Metal Gear character is your best mate
You know what all of this stuff means
You know why everybody hated Raiden so much
You make foot prints at work; you distract your boss and escape the shop
You reference everything from real life to Metal Gear Solid

Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned from Final Fantasy

2009-05-18T13:17:00.000-07:00

1. I can do whatever I want, as long as I speak to a Moogle first.

2. I can walk into any house with an unlocked door and take anything that I find.

3. Anyone I meet who has spiky hair or is named after a weather phenomenon is probably one of the coolest people I'll ever meet.

4. The scarier the music, the more fun the dungeon.

5. the most reliable source of income is to go out into a field and kill any wildlife that attacks me. Animals and all other creatures carry varying amounts of cash and occasionally some mystical healing items.

6. My life will not reach completion until I have met a man named Cid.

7. Silver haired people dressed in black leather are not your friends, and never go to any of their family reunions.

8. No matter how small a man is he can carry an extremely oversized weapon.

9. I tremble in awe every time I see a horse-sized chicken that shouts, "Kweh!"

10. I wear a ribbon not to support any interest groups, but so that I never have to worry about illness.

11. I can take multiple hits from anything at all without a scratch, as long as my HP doesn't hit 0.

12. I can cheat death as long as I have a phoenix down.

13. Mimes are the most dangerous people of all!

14. Frogs look enough like Tonberrys to make me run from them in fear.

15. Don't hit me too much or I'll limit break you back to the Middle Ages.

16. Potions are a total waste of money, especially if I have a white mage.

17. Even an imitation sword can still fuck me up.

18. I can only travel a significant distance with two or three other people at a time.

19. No matter how large or small my enemies, they will always stand still and let me hit them back.

20. I may be the only hope an entire civilization has to fend off certain annihilation, but the shop owner still won't sell me jack unless I pay full price.

21. Save points are everywhere until I actually need one.

22. There is always an airship SOMEWHERE. If I can't find it, I'm not looking hard enough.

23. Even with a crucial deadline fast approaching, I can still have a couple of naps and rest along the way without the world going to crap just yet.

24. That which does not kill me gives me tons of experience.

25. Playing retarded card games for hour after painstaking hour can actually get me some pretty sweet stuff.

26. I cannot take more then 10-15 steps outside of a city without getting jumped by random animals that have never even seen me before.

27. Once I decide on a job, there is no reason to change my clothes until I get another one.

28. The more menacing a boss looks, the greater the chance that he or she won't actually stay dead.

29. Never leave home without my sword.

30. I really should be selective on what I choose to devour.

31. Once I kill one thing it's best to immediately kill several more just like it.

32. If I talk to someone over and over again, they will always say the same thing until some major event happens.

33. My daily exercise is doing the same victory pose a million times.

34. Any chicks in eye patches carrying swords are serious trouble.

35. All the "good items" I've been saving thus far will be completely useless by the time I change disks.

36. If I get involved in a fight and the music is more dramatic than anything I've heard thus far, I know I'm up against something extremely strong, and the end of my journey is near.

37. If I bump into Ultima or Omega weapon on my way to the shop or the bus stop, it's probably best to leave them be.

38. People with five letter names are always important.

39. No matter how badly I kicked his ass, my enemy will not be truly defeated until he or she has mutated into some ridiculously large beast.

40. Whenever I leave a city, I become huge and, in most cases, larger than the city.

41. I can only carry one sphere at a time, despite my pockets and my other hand.

42. I can only go down roads marked on my mini map.

43. My wallet isn't large enough to carry $1,000,000,000; only $999,999,999.

44. I can carry as much stuff as I want, but never more than 99 of the same item (its taboo).

45. Mail is delivered throughout the world, known and unknown, by Mogs, kupo.

46. I can defeat a T-Rex in hand to hand combat.

47. It is okay to gloat with a celebratory dance after defeating a dog or rat in mortal combat.

48. Walking up to someone on the street without saying a word opens the door for any number of conversations, ranging from random information about the town's history to being sent on a dangerous mission.

49. Thievery is a legitimate occupation and is most effective when someone is trying to kill you.

50. When you die you either go to the Lifestream, become a fiend, or get sent to the Far Plane, depending on your religion.

51. If I want to heal a hurt friend all I have to do is throw a potion above my head and he or she will be all better.

52. In general, women have higher intelligence then guys, but they usually can't do a lick of damage in hand-to-hand combat, with the exception of those with biker gloves in tank tops.

53. When I try to swear, weird gibberish comes out unless I am a large black man with a gun for a hand.

54. I always talk to strangers. They might join my party or give me stuff.

55. No matter what, I can never use any other kinds of weapons other than the one I now have.

56. I'm going to count backwards from sixty, and when I reach zero, you will be dead.

57. I don't age I level up.

58. It can take you the same amount of time to cross a village as it does a country.

59. Anything can fit into your pockets or a treasure box, whether it's a small earring or large sword.

60. Scars make people look cooler.

Black Books Series 1, Episode 2: Manny's First Day

2009-05-15T10:19:00.000-07:00


	Bernard: Alrighty. What did you order? Manny: Lager. Bernard: I got you... crème de menthe. Ok, here it is - I like you a lot, Gerald... Samantha... Manny: Manny... Bernard: Manny. That's the one. I like you a lot. Manny: Oh thanks very much, you're not so bad yourself (pats Bernard on the arm) Bernard: Don't touch my arm. And uhh... where have you gone? Manny: I'm here. You're looking at me. Bernard: Oh right. Yeah. So... what do you want? Manny: You mentioned something about a job. Bernard: What would I have to do? Manny: No, uh, in the bookshop. Bernard: But I already work in a bookshop! Do you have anything... in an aquarium? Manny: Er, no... for me. Bernard: Oh yeah, right, of course. Sorry sorry sorry sorry. Of course. Right. (to an old woman walking past the table) You leaving, Manny? Manny: No that's the old woman. Bernard: Bernard Black. (Offers his hand) Manny: Manny. (They shake hands) Bernard: So. What do you want? Manny: You mentioned a job. Bernard: What would I have to do? Manny: For me. Bernard: Oh yes yes yes of course. Very simple, very simple. Here we go. Do you want a job? Manny: Great, yes. Bernard: What's great? What? What?